Prepare for Departure

Number of items less than 3 oz. in my 1-quart plastic ziploc bag: 14

Number of items in my plastic ziploc bag that are lip gloss: 3

Number of items in containers greater than 3 oz. I decided I could live without: 4, including my favorite hair product

Number of items that may actually be a liquid, gel or aerosol that I didn't pack in my plastic ziploc bag and am hoping security doesn't have a problem with: 1

Times I cursed TSA and their damn liquid/gel/aerosol rules: 343,492

Number of carry-on bags: 2, if I stuff my purse in my enormous shoulder/laptop bag

Number of checked bags: 0

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Number of minutes between my scheduled landing and the departure of my connecting flight: 46

Number of minutes late my flight arrived: 15

Number of minutes I had to catch my connecting flight: 18

Number of minutes my connecting flight was delayed, once I arrived at the gate: 98

Number of times we almost boarded the plane before they decided to give it to another flight: 1

Number of hours my flight is now delayed: 4.5

Number of hours spent at the Home Turf Sports Bar & Grill: going on 3

Number of beers consumed: 2

Number of times I've connected to the wireless router but been unable to connect to the internet: 5,653,404,230

Number of times I've wished I smoked, because at least then I'd have something to do: 48

Time my flight was supposed to land: 9:51 PM

Time we actually landed: 2:33 AM

Number of hours of sleep I'm going to get: way less than 8