Thursday, February 16, 2006

By the Numbers

I know what you've been thinking: there just haven't been enough quantitative posts here. To remedy that, today we have all numbers, all the time! (You Haters of Math probably don't like me very much right now. Sorry.)

In the past thirty days, since I started spying on you – er, I mean, watching my traffic stats – there have been 759 visits, 1531 page views and 82 comments left. I'm happy with that. Really. Never mind the fact that some blogs I read have more comments left than I have visitors in a day. That doesn’t bother me in the least. *Sniff.* It's not a popularity contest, after all. Right? Right? (To be fair, those blogs have been up and running for years, so I’m not going to take it personally. Yet.)

The traffic, it will come. (Send your friends and neighbors over, they'll love it here!) But comments? We can always use more comments! Otherwise this is just a self-absorbed, narcissistic, one-sided conversation. Oh.

I've noticed that weekday traffic is pretty steady, with peaks around 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. EST. However, site traffic plummets over the weekend. These two facts mean one thing: y'all waste a lot of time at work! Or you have more exciting weekends than I do.

Another curiosity: the day with the most visits was January 26. I don't know if you came here in search of more Pretty New Shoes or if Steve's birthday was the big draw or what. Steve, did you send all your friends over here to see the baby pic? I know you're a shameless self-promoter. No worries, I'll take the free publicity!

What intrigues me is who's behind each IP address - something I'll never know (because I'm not, well, the CIA). And how he/she ended up at this site - which I get to know some of the time. Searches within the Blogger tool are the most common referral source. In fact, "fuck" is the most popular search term from random people who end up here. Shocking, huh? But I wonder what people were hoping for when they do the search. 'Cuz I probably disappoint on that front. One visitor was more specific. He searched for "pictures of people doing sex." Forgive the poor grammar – he's from the United Arab Emirates. He was referred to this post. Quite a let-down, I'd imagine, as there are "pictures of people" and talk of "sex," but not actually "pictures of people doing sex."

Some of my other favorites include someone from Missouri searching for "Midwest" and "pregnant." Again, I probably didn't have much to offer, other than I am intimately familiar with one and not the other. Google refers a lot of people here who are looking for the Oscar Wilde quote in the masthead. (Blog traffic tip #9: First, put a really famous quote in a prominent place on your site. Then, sit back and wait for strangers to wander in unintentionally. Voila! Instant traffic!) And in the referral that made me laugh the most, someone in Sweden searched for "two tragedies vanilla Coke," so assume that he/she is not such a fan of the Vanilla Coke. I can only hope my review of Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke was of service.

Official Ski Trip Update: I think I've got all the necessary gear and accoutrements. Now I just need to locate chains/cables for the car. Apparently the chains available at the Sport Chalet were not the right size for my cute little car with its cute little tires. Yes, we are taking this cute little car up into the mountains, where it is currently snowing. Sounds safe, huh? The chains are a crucial component in my bid to avoid death on the side of a mountain, driving, so I hope some nice man at one of the local tire stores wants to sell them me.


At Thu Feb 16, 12:30:00 AM PST, Blogger gg said...


I'm from Canary Island in Spain. I discovered your blog a week ago. I like it very much and I read it every day. It's funny.

Sorry for my english. It's a little clogged.

See you.

At Thu Feb 16, 05:59:00 PM PST, Anonymous Clueless said...

Don't worry, gofioguanagua. I live in Texas. A lof of people's English is a little clogged around here.


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