Thursday, March 02, 2006

All's Fair in Love and War

Or so says Francis Edwards. (Who is this guy, anyway?)

But I must respectfully disagree. Because there's a difference between "what's fair" and "anything could happen." We have rules of engagement for wartime. We have the Geneva Conventions to guide our treatment of combatants and non-combatants. These set the standard for "what's fair" in a war. And yet, acts of war are routinely committed in violation of those standards, lending credence to the thought that "anything could happen."

In love, there are fewer rules. There certainly aren't any conventions codified and agreed to by the population at large. "What's fair" varies from person to person. Unlike in war, in love, Life is often a key player, not just the two parties involved, and that makes things inherently more challenging, less governable, less predictable. Anything could happen.

It's not fair that sometimes words are just words.

It's not fair that something that looks so much like the real thing can turn out not to be.

It's not fair that it takes more than trying.

It's not fair that some people try harder than others.

It's not fair that bad things can happen to good people.

It's not fair that people can change dramatically when you're not looking.

It's not fair that someone can turn out to be someone other than who they purported to be.

It's not fair that oftentimes the hurt lasts longer than the relationship did.

It's not fair that some actions defy logic.

It's not fair that some questions have no answers.

It's not fair that being mad won't change the situation.

No, none of this is fair. And yet, that's life. This is what each of us gets, at some point, and there's no way to prepare for it. All we can do is learn from it.


At Thu Mar 02, 10:52:00 AM PST, Anonymous Clueless said...

Sounds like you've been hurt, and more than once. I'm sorry to hear that. At twice your age one thing I've learned is that there is abslutely nothing about life that is fair. Not one thing. Nada.

At Thu Mar 02, 11:03:00 AM PST, Anonymous clk said...

Perhaps is is more true that "all is fair game in love". Talk to you soon.

At Thu Mar 02, 01:20:00 PM PST, Blogger Daily Tragedies said...

You know, this post has been writing itself in my head since last summer. But it wasn't until last night, when I really felt someone else's pain, that it all came together.

If I'm not careful, I'm gonna lose my Ice Queen crown!

At Fri Mar 03, 08:59:00 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There never was a guarentee of "fairness." It is a concept out of fairie tales. The best we can hope for is that we act "fair" towards one another.


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