Praise to Thee, O Gods of Fake Mexican Food
*The sound of angels singing.*
Glory hallelujah, there is a Chipotle a mere two miles from my office! Truly, the Fake Mexican Food Gods are smiling on me. (Note: I am making no claims here that Chipotle is real Mexican food, nor that it is the best Mexican around. Please, I do have some culinary taste!) And only two miles away! That's totally drivable for a quick lunch run. Yes, that's right, I drive to lunch. It's California - I drive to lunch two blocks away. And I am much ashamed, because in DC a fifteen minute walk was considered "close enough," but what are you gonna do? It's just different here.
How can a girl survive without Chipotle??? The horror! The horror! Ten months I've lived here and I just became aware of Chipotle's existence a couple of weeks ago. I shudder to think that I've been missing out that long, so I'll just pretend that it opened last month. (Coincidentally, Chipotle's IPO was issued yesterday. Sorry, it's too late to make your quick millions. But, like me, you can pretend to own your own slice of the Burrito.)
Chipotle is oodles better than the Dos Coyotes three blocks from my office that I have been stupidly going to for my Fake Mexican Food fixes the last ten long, dark, Chipotle-less months, and for that I am eternally grateful. And today was definitely a Chipotle day, as the alignment of the stars clearly angered the Telephone Conference Call Gods, and they flung their wrath down upon me. But, we won't go into that here. Happy thoughts!
I love America. And restaurant franchises that allow you to order the same thing from one end of the continent to the other and get exactly what you want. (Burrito Bol, no rice, just lettuce. Black beans, fajita vegetables. Maybe chicken, maybe not. Mild tomato salsa and corn salsa. No cheese or sour cream. Guacamole only if there's no chicken and I've gone to the gym today. Not that I'm particular or anything.) And the guacamole! Mmmmmmmmmmm. Nothing can replace the Chipotle guacamole. Nothing. (Got that? No-thing.)
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9 Comments:
Damn it, now I want some Chipotle and it's closed and I will just have to go tomorrow. They built a Chipotle one exit down from my office and I was filled with glee and nobody here understood. Now if only we could get a Panera...
When I was somewhat younger (OK, 30 years ago) I lived in the Land of Sausage and Potato. In all of Columbus there were but two Mexican restaurants; one seemed to make the food from pictures, having no idea what the ingredients should be, and the other served Nachos Without Jalapenos.
Heretics, all. We gave up on the restaurants and learned to make it ourselves. Now we live in the Land of Plentiful Tex-Mex, but I still make the Best Guacamole in the World.
Lori--So sorry. But they will be happy to see you tomorrow. And, damn! Now I have to see if we have a Panera somewhere. Thanks a lot.
Clueless--I will have to evaluate your claim of the Best Guacamole in the World. If you would please, FedEx one gallon of said guacamole to me. It will be entered into an avocado-to-avocado competition with the Chipotle guacamole. If the results are inconclusive, you may need to send another gallon or two for further evaluation.
Or, send me the recipe.
Would Chile's be fake? Because I am so there!
Now I am starving!
My recipe for guacamole . . . . I got it from an AF friend, Steve K. in Sausage and Potato Land who had visited southern California and he got it from a waiter at a Fake Mexican Restaurant there. It requires a perfect avocado, which mostly come from California, and a Texas tradition. I taught the recipe to my two sons, but I don't know about telling my secrets outside the family . . .
I'm so sorry I didn't write sooner, but I've been crazy busy. Thank you so much for responding! I found you really randomly, actually. Every time I get on to post, I click on "next blog" a few times, just to browse through other blogs for a minute. When I read yours, I felt like I was reading my own, so I had to write. I actually came up your way two weeks ago; one of my students flew out to visit his sister who lives in Burlingame, so I used it as an excuse to get out of L.A. and visit my cousin in Berkeley.
I, too, adore Ryan Adams (obviously). In fact, I just interviewed for a summer job outside of Boston and when the director of the camp asked me what I was listening to, we spent a good five minutes discussing who we thought Ryan is dating these days (I won, because I'm also in love with the man, aside from his music, although I hear he's an asshole; I just think he's GORGEOUS). Anyway, when he offered me the job, based on that conversation alone, I decided I had to accept at all costs. I heard about the televised concert the other night, but didn't catch it, alas.
Anyway, great to hear from you! What else are YOU listening to?
Clueless--Adopt me! Arrange a marriage to one of your sons! Then I can have the recipe!
Otherwise, you'll just have to be my guacamole supplier for the rest of my days. And that could mean a lot of time in the kitchen. You may have to quit your day job.
I don't know how I stumbled over here (virtually, of course), but I simply had to say "hi" to a former Wisconsin resident. I'm still there. There is no Chipotle in my city. There is only...The Bell. Save me, someone?
One son is married to the PERFECT daughter-in-law, the other is getting married this summer to someone we BARELY KNOW. However, I'll trade. You tell me something I don't know about shoes, like why women wear uncomfortable shoes (the really pointy ones with really high heels) and I'll turn over the family recipe for guacamole.
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