Wednesday, December 06, 2006

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like -- Oh, Who Am I Kidding? No It's Not.

Here we are, another Christmas season in California and I cannot wrap my puny little mind around that fact. The grass outside is lush and green, there are still trees with plenty of leaves (red and gold leaves, yes, but full of leaves nonetheless) and not a snowflake in sight. The only way I know it's almost Christmas is because the CD that plays on endless loop at Banana Republic tells me so.

(Is it wrong that this is, quite possibly, my favorite Christmas song? For sure it's in the top five, along with this one, which I think captures my every Christmas need quite perfectly. But hey, no need to wait until Christmas -- you can get a jump on the list and start sending them for my birthday.)

So, it's a wee bit difficult to get motivated to do festive things like decorate the house or send cards or drink a whole bowl of eggnog by myself. I crafted my plan of attack for writing Christmas cards, finishing up my shopping, and getting all of it in the mail and safely to their destinations in plenty of time. But, you know what they say about best laid plans...(please tell me you do, because I don't. Something about mice and men and the Dust Bowl, maybe?)


Today work decided that, rather than complete my holiday tasks in some sort of orderly, low-stress fashion, I should instead hop a plane and spend next week in DC.

I will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing and I'm long overdue, but my To Do list just got a lot longer and the time in which to do it all got a lot shorter. Screw wrapping any presents, I'm just going to toss it all in a box and deal with it when I get to Wisconsin. And for the second year a row, I can do my Christmas cards at the airport. Heartfelt thoughts abound there, you know? But at least I get to spread glitter all over the place and somebody else is stuck cleaning it up! (Just like last year. Sorry, M.)

The good news is, I have many presents already purchased, mostly for my mom. (Dad and I have an arrangement: I shop, he writes me a check. In all fairness to him, I only shop for the clothes, he picks out the other stuff.)

Shopping for my mother is an interesting challenge. She doesn't spend a ton of money on clothes (actually, she doesn't spend a ton of money, period) and would probably curl up in the fetal position and cry if she ever saw some of my receipts. However, she actually likes nice stuff.

Mom: I really like that blue sweater you got me last year.
Me: The cardigan?
Mom: Yeah. It's so warm and soft!
Me: Mom, it's cashmere. It should be warm and soft.
Mom: Ohhh, that explains it.

So I have to balance my desire to buy something nice with her worry that we'll buy her something nice but outrageously priced. Which is how I ended up at J.C.Penney. Yes, really. I walked into the ladies clothing department and nearly spontaneously combusted, so surrounded by synthetic materials was I. But, I perservered and hopefully found something worth my efforts: a pair of jeans, which are non-mom-jeans enough for my taste and, I believe, comfortable enough for her taste. (All the clothes out there are for you young, skinny people. I can't wear those!) Now they just have to fit. And I will have to convince her that the wash doesn't highlight her non-existent ass. (Oh, won't Christmas morning be fun!)

Anyway, once I decided I could cut corners on all this Christmas-
related stuff by, oh, just not giving a crap anymore (which, really, I hate. I hate that I don't have time to lovingly write out lengthy Christmas cards and wrap beautiful presents and make gingerbread houses and whip up batches upon batches of cookies. I hate that these things have to take a back seat to the rest of my crazy life. But, I don't really have a choice. I can't make more time.) I remembered that my trip to DC will involve a very festive party that will require me to get all fancy-dressed-up for. [Mental note: pack a dress.] Fine and dandy, until I realized that means I'll have to do something with my HAIR. And holy crap, if my hair is not the most obstinate thing around when it comes to up-dos. I have made stylists cry with their inability to get my hair to stay in a french twist. How the hell am I supposed to manage this one on my own? And the thought of trying to book a salon appointment only a week in advance? They will LAUGH at me. So, um, ponytail it is! Yee-haw!

I will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out.

Oh yeah, and in the midst of all this, I have actual real work to do. Which I should probably make a higher priority than frosting snowman cookies, right?

Why yes, the majority of these bags ARE from Banana Republic!
You noticed that, too?


At Thu Dec 07, 06:28:00 AM PST, Anonymous Dave said...

To answer your question, yes. It is very wrong for Last Christmas to be your favorite holiday song. I'm irritated that it's even included in the Christmas mix. I go so far as to turn the radio down when this song is played. The events in the song happened around Christmas time, that does not make it a Chrismas song. There is no mention of snow, Santa, Jesus, happy little children, flying hooved animals, presents, angels, candy canes, elves, hot chocolate or anything else particularly Christmassy ... except for the word Christmas.

At Thu Dec 07, 06:42:00 AM PST, Anonymous Jaelith said...

I love Eartha Kitt's song too, one of my faves! Looking forward to seeing you in DC (and no worries, an up-do is not required - though a fab dress is!).

At Thu Dec 07, 08:25:00 AM PST, Anonymous Superfantastic said...

George Michael, absolutely. But even I will change the station off the Christmas music entirely when Santa Baby comes on. That song is an abomination.

At Thu Dec 07, 11:02:00 AM PST, Anonymous chrystal said...

Seriously, if you want an updo, try Andre Chreky. They can usually do a week in advance and I've never heard of a complaint in a stylist.

And even though you may not get to write out long letters (borderline christmas newsletter-ish anyway which is bad), bake lots of cookies (which you will then want to eat, also potentially bad, or build a gingerbread house (well, i have a kit at home so i can't mock that one) you DO get to spend some time at the annual holiday party, and, honestly, what gets you more in the CHRISTMAS SPIRIT??? (and for the second year in a row, we will not only have every beer you can imagine, but wine too, so in the words of Bob Barker, come on down-to the sixth floor that is! it's win, win for you, Katherine!!!!)

At Thu Dec 07, 01:59:00 PM PST, Anonymous Clueless said...

Could I get you to do my Christmas shopping too?

At Thu Dec 07, 03:26:00 PM PST, Anonymous dani said...

I have not even begun x-mas shopping yet! And I'm leaving to go see family next wednesday. eeks.

Just found you today through Nothing But Bonfires... :-) Also a sacramento person.

At Tue Dec 12, 05:48:00 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They say its your birthday,
its my birthday too!!!

Happy Birthday Katie

At Wed Dec 13, 04:32:00 PM PST, Anonymous pia said...

ahhh. there it is. nevermind. you are here, not just rumored to me. Happy Birthday!!!


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