Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Project Run Away

Know what we haven't done in a while? A fashion round-up. This particular tour through the wonderful world of fashion is inspired by the creepy guy who sat next to me on my flight from LAX Sunday night. It was bad enough that he started talking to the woman in the aisle seat the moment he sat down, but at least that left me free to read my InStyle magazine in relative peace. Buuuuut, no. Once he tired of the aisle-seat-woman, he turned his attention to me. And my magazine. Which left me no convenient means of escape.

So, in the words of Heidi Klum, let's start the show! (All pictures courtesy of InStyle magazine.)

Did you know Creepy Guy likes animal print? Because he does. And he highly recommends it for me. Maybe something like this.

Uhhhh, no. For one, I'm not enamored with animal print, and honestly, the colors don't look that great on me. Secondly, the cape? Not a chance. My outerwear suggestions include shearling, cashmere and wool.

Creepy Guy commented that this piece looks like something you would buy at Goodwill.

Or from Chanel for $4000. You know, either way.

Creepy Guy liked these. He also thought they would look good on me.

*Reaching for conveniently-located barf bag.*

Creepy Guy thought I would enjoy these.

While the silhouette is good, they are made of vinyl and glitter. VINYL AND GLITTER. Just say no, people, just say no.

Try these or these:

Creepy Guy also enjoyed these boots, which I object to on the basis of their JLo brand. (I actually own something similar, so I can't object too much to the style.) He also informed me that men invented high heels.

Wow, that just blows my mind. Next you're going to tell me that the reason men like heels is because they make women's legs and derrieres look good. Amazing!

If you're looking for something on-trend, I recommend these.

And had he liked these, I may have been compelled to beat him senseless with my beloved InStyle.

In addition to Creepy Guy looking at my magazine, making comments/asking questions/generally being INSANELY FREAKING ANNOYING, he was a walking infomercial for some business venture he's involved in. Blah blah, e-commerce, residual income, blah. If you have any desire to start an on-line retail store and make gobs and gobs of money, let me know and I'll hook you up. Be sure to pair the animal print cape with the JLo boots for your first business meeting -- you'll be a hit.

What are you lusting after for fall? Any advice to offer to shoppers this season? Or poor unsuspecting airline passengers who just want to READ THEIR MAGAZINE FOR PETE'S SAKE PLEASE STFU???


At Wed Oct 04, 12:22:00 PM PDT, Blogger soundedfury said...

I reiterate again my concern that single women have an unhealthy fascination with shoes. I'm not knocking it, I'm just concerned.

At Wed Oct 04, 12:35:00 PM PDT, Blogger Daily Tragedies said...

I'm just glad we spent that much time discussing shoes and not, uh, other more personal articles of clothing.

At Wed Oct 04, 01:31:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Clueless said...

I'm with you, soundedfury, but its not just single women. Irony Queen promised to explain shoes to us all one time but hasn't done so. If you could only own one pair of shoes, what would they be? The answer is simple: Chaco sandals.

At Wed Oct 04, 02:11:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is my favorite post of yours ever!!! I am cracking up envisioning this conversation!!! What did creepy guy look like? Tell me more! CB

At Wed Oct 04, 02:26:00 PM PDT, Anonymous clk said...

To answer your question, I am looking forward to how many people are going to try to resurrect their sweaterdresses from the early 90's. Shoulder pads and knits are never a good thing. Let go of the fushia; buy a new one. You can afford something other than acrylic now!


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